careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
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there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
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You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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