my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
