Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
