I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
