She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Randomize
