Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
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