U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Randomize
