So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
