id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
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Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
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I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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