My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
