I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
