well you can't waste a boner
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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