I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
