i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
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