I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
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