So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
3pm strippers are depressing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
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