do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
