There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
