Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
