Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
