i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
This girl is more easily done than said...
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
