You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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