Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
