Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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