i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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