Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Randomize
