He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
