I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
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Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
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You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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