you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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