All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
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