Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
