I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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