so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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