So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize