: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
