I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
