She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
