but the lizard people decide everything anyway
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
