Plan B is the new Plan A
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
