Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Randomize