I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
