you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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