Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
