YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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