Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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