I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
It's official drugs can't kill me
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Randomize
