i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
