as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
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