Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
