i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Farmville is her only friend.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
