There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
