She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
