How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
