dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
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hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
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He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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