in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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