I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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