i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
