Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
