guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize