so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
