i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
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